As the school year winds down, one of the issues that arises is that students begin to coast a little bit. While this is understandable, if they do this for even a relatively short amount of time, it can negatively impact their final grades in a substantial way.

It only takes a couple of poor quizzes, one gaffe on a test, or bombing a final exam to bring down the previous eight months of work.

This is challenging for kids to comprehend, and they often times don’t even realize what’s happening until the grades are in, at which time it’s too late. So, what are some things that can be done to help with this?

1.)  Anticipate that it will occur and watch for signs of it happening.

By the end of the school year, you should have a pretty good idea of what your child’s workload is, so be on the lookout for any drop off you may notice. Also, start asking about a month before the end of the school year what they are going to have for final exams and end of the year projects. That way there isn’t a mad rush in the final days.

2.)  Although it can be difficult, try not to lecture.

Nothing causes a student to tune out more quickly than feeling they are being lectured. Do your best to be inquisitive instead, and do so in a manner that doesn’t come across as checking up on them. Empowering them in the process is important, and lecturing doesn’t move toward that goal.

3.)  Incentives can sometimes be great motivators for kids.

With Summer looming, you may want to consider utilizing this tactic. Whether it’s a special trip or destination, an item of clothing or sports gear that they have been talking about, or some other perk that you feel would be meaningful for them, incentives work with some students. Be open to that possibility.

4.)  Approach it positively.

Trying to scare them by talking about failing or doing poorly isn’t a good motivator. Rather, if our ideas are presented in a positive light, such as letting them know that they have put in a great deal of effort throughout the year, and you want to see them finish strong and be rewarded for that effort, there is a far greater likelihood that they will be motivated by that. And if you have any ideas on how to prevent the dreaded Summer Slide, we’d love to hear them.

Continuing where we left off in Part 1, here is a sampling of our observations from tutoring in terms of the anxiety and stress level that students have. Kids are stressed because they are over scheduled. They are starting to hone their college lists, and worry about it in the 8th grade. Students are being taught that the grade they receive equates to who they are. They struggle on tests due to not knowing the difference between learning and memorization. If they are not in the top or bottom echelon in class, they get ignored.

But mostly kids are stressed because too often they are made to feel that their best simply isn’t good enough.

Recently, in a conversation I was having with a college professor, she shared an interesting interaction that took place with a student. The student was struggling with a concept, and at the same time was doing very well in the course. At one point the professor said to the student, “you’re on the right track, just keep doing your best.”

The student replied, “I don’t want to do my best, I want to do the best.”

This is where many students find themselves, and while it’s certainly good to strive and push ourselves, that is a pretty high bar to get over. Test scores, quarterly grades, mid-terms, finals, MCAS, SAT, and GPA. These are just a few of the numbers that middle and high school students are all too familiar with. On one hand, they are being told that being a good person matters, and that being a productive member of society is also about being well rounded and having good values. On the other, they are judged at every turn in very distinct and objective terms, and those terms seem to have little to do with them being a well rounded human being.

The system is hyper-focused on results, and very little energy is given to exploring the process. This is problematic.

In her book, The Growth Mindset, Carol Dweck discusses process a great deal. Through many studies that she has led, one of the conclusions she has made is that “it’s better to praise students for their process, for their practice, study, persistence and hard work, than to simply praise their intelligence.” This way of thinking calls into question our antiquated notions around who is intelligent and who is not.

What if, instead of praising a student who gets an A by telling her how smart she is, we instead talked with her about how she got that A by being prepared, studying hard, or other comments related to her process.

In tutoring, one of our goals is to help students understand their process. Whether the results they have received are good or bad, exploring the process that led to that result is vital. It can help them to see what is working and what needs to be changed. It’s not about telling students to study harder or longer, or telling them they are lazy (even though sometimes they are!).  We need to show them what effective studying looks like, break down their unique process to see what works and what doesn’t, help them understand how they learn best, and consistently reinforce these ideas over time.

Over the past few years, the issue of anxiety in adolescents has become more prominent. The number of students who are stressed out, or on medication for anxiety and depression is at an all time high. In our tutoring we come across this challenge more than ever. In a recent Boston Globe article, they cite a 2011 survey at Lexington High saying that 89% of students reported that the atmosphere at the school encouraged academic competition, and 40% reported that they were under “a lot of stress”. What’s going on here?

Many adults look at adolescents and are dismissive of the difficulties they face.

After all, they are juggling a marriage, parenting, career, mortgages, college funds, and all of the other daily stresses in life. From their vantage point, kids don’t have a care in the world. Go to school, do your homework, hang out with friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and get decent grades. The only problem with that line of thinking is that it’s inaccurate. Think about it for a second. For many of the students we work with, here is what a fairly typical day could look like for them. Get up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for school, arrive somewhere around 8:00, and then spend the next six hours going from class to class, with a few minutes in between or at lunch to catch up with friends. Many kids are in extracurriculars or sports, so they maybe have a half hour after school before practice begins, and that will run until about 6:00 p.m. They get home around 6:30, wolf down some dinner, and then have anywhere from an hour to sometimes as much as three hours of homework to do. They blink and it’s 11:00, and they have to hit the hay and do it all over again.

This notion that kids are breezing through their days without a care in the world just isn’t true.

Throw into that mix the pressure of grades, and not just in terms of what they expect of themselves. Their teachers have expectations, and their particular social circle does as well. In our experience though, the expectations that cause students the most stress are the ones parents place on them. We have worked with many students who work incredibly hard on a project, or in studying for a test, and when they receive a B, they are made to feel like they failed. And if a C enters into the picture, watch out.

C’s have become the new F’s!

We are certainly not advocating lowering the bar for students in terms of what to aim for with grades, and at the same time it’s important to be able to praise them for hard work, and not saddle them with our own expectations. What do you think stresses students out the most? We would love to hear from you. And in part 2, we will look at this issue further. We offer unmatched tutoring in Brookline, Newton, Cambridge, Concord, Hopkinton, Lexington, Needham, Sudbury and Wellesley.